Grief Is Love by Mary Deal

Grief Is Love by Mary Deal.

A Memoir of Surviving Bereavement.

After losing her long-term partner, through poetry and essay, author Mary Deal shares the turmoil and oftentimes bewildering depths of her grief.

This memoir exposes the spectrum of emotions with which those suffering loss will become familiar or already experience. The author holds back nothing of her odyssey of despair. Her experiences and much she has learned to help herself provide other survivors a chance to see that they are not alone. Though everyone’s grief is different, all grief is surprisingly similar in its basis. Hope is found in familiarity with another’s grief and no one should endure the bereavement process alone.

Following the author’s progression through relentless sorrow, and finally redemption, lets others know there is validation for their emotional suffering. An easing of the pain occurs as the memory of loss takes its place among all other memories of the life shared with departed loved ones. This memoir offers helpful advice for survivors who endure their grief, until the puzzle of life meshes back together again in a new pattern.

5 Stars: Mary Deal’s Strength and Love Is A Gift To Us All!

Mary Deal’s book ‘Grief Is Love’ is a testament to enduring love. Mary shares her grief process while honoring the memory of her partner, Ronald Jerome Holte.

I am moved by Mary’s self-reflection and brutal honesty. Poignant short poems, are placed throughout the book, speaking in the language of heart and soul. I am convinced that poetry is the language spoken when normal conversation is not adequate, due to emotional trauma.

‘Grief Is Love’ is a gift to those going through the grieving process, and a special gift to those of us who need to prepare for the loss of someone we love. This is a book that needs to be in everyone’s hands, because loss is inevitable. Reading about Mary’s experiences, regrets, and even mistakes, will help others make plans, and find solace through the process. I admire Mary’s strength and her kind words for those giving their support to her, in a variety of ways.

Mary clearly states in her introduction: “Some of the writings included here are sad and heart-wrenching while others may simply be emotionally raw. I am baring my heart. If I can’t do that, then what is there with which you who suffer and seek support might find rapport and validation for your own grief and nearly unnatural experiences? As I am learning, grief is not something anyone should have to do alone. The creation of this book comes from a place of pain. Most books I’ve read dealing with grief and bereavement are written, perhaps a year or more after the author has developed a better grip on their own anguish. Yet, the writing seemed sterile and formal, at least to me. I write this book from inside my pain, while it is ongoing and, at times, maddening.”

It will take courage to read this book and use it as blueprint for your own grieving process. It will take even more courage to give it to someone who is experiencing some form of grief. Giving this book away is an act of compassion. This book should be placed in hospitals, nursing homes, hospice and funeral locales. Mary is donating some of this book’s profits to the ‘American Cancer Society-Renal Research’.

Mary’s final thought: “For those who wish to learn more about the ability to sit quietly and sort out their thoughts, please read my bestselling, award-winning book titled Hypno-Scripts: Life-Changing Techniques Using Self-Hypnosis and Mediation.”

Mary is an artist, photographer, and former editor of a print magazine and newspaper columnist. She is an Amazon best-selling and award-winning author of five suspense/thriller novels: “The Ka,” a paranormal suspense taking place among the tombs in Egypt; her 3-book Sara Mason thriller series contains “River Bones,” “The Howling Cliffs,” and “Dead to Life” which start in her childhood hometown area but reaches Vietnam and Hawaii. Another thriller, “Down to the Needle,” is set on the west coast. “Legacy of the Tropics,” is an adventure/suspense spanning from the Caribbean to the Hawaiian Islands. “Off Center in the Attic” is a collection of over-the-top short stories and flash fiction pieces, and “Sea Cliff – A Love Story,” contemporary romance set in San Francisco. Her nonfiction books are, “Write It Right – Tips for Authors,” a complete guide for writers, and “Hypno-Scripts – Life-Changing Techniques Using Self-Hypnosis and Meditation.” “Grief Is Love –A Memoir of Surviving Bereavement” recounts the author’s own grief, written to offer help to others experiencing similar heartache from the loss of a loved one.

Editorial Review (Book Marketing Global Network).

Review by James J. Cudney IV (Jay)-VINE VOICE: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. Touching. Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2023. Verified Purchase. Bereavement is a visceral and personal experience we all learn how to handle in our own unique ways. Mary Deal, a prolific author of short stories, suspense novels, poetry, and advice books, shares her latest journey for readers who have lost someone they loved dearly. Written in the months following her long-time partner’s death, Grief Is Love offers poetry, memoirs, reflections, and a guide to taking a few steps each day, knowing life may be very different but still something to cherish and live to its fullest. Mary’s partner, Ron, had a wonderful life but also suffered several bouts with cancer, the last one leaving its unfortunate and fatal mark. Mary’s reflections on the man’s virtues and their honest, inspiring relationship will keep their love and connections alive.

Deal’s poetry gives a secondary tone to the memoir/journey by leaving readers with moments of reflection and transition. Grief is for the living; memories must be kept alive and used to propel each day forward for those left behind. Making decisions, such as when to pack up their things, is not a decision to take lightly. One of Mary’s friends offers advice on this task, too, as do several others who were close with the couple, giving us a sense of what it’s like to lose someone with whom you’ve spent 30, 40, 50+ years loving and building a history. Walking away from the book, I now know Mary more intimately, and understanding the depth of feelings between two people who had a fulfilling and rewarding life together shows the beauty of life and friendship.

I recommend reading the book in multiple sittings, absorbing the reflections from friends, neighbors and chaplain, then reading several of the poems and making connections to your own life experiences. Definitely filled with sadness, but also uplifting sentiments and a promise for a stronger future. Another fine example of why I always read Mary Deal’s newest releases… and I’m looking forward to more in the future.

Review by Rita M.: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. A Beautifully Written, Comforting Guide on an Important Subject. Reviewed in the United States on November 13, 2022. Verified Purchase. First of all, I love the title. It helps one know that grief it a normal emotion, to have less fear about grieving, and to understand that your love for the person you lost is the reason for your grief – and not a selfish or self-indulgent feeling. It helps you understand that you will get through the pain without forgetting your loved one. My sister recently lost her husband. He died unexpectedly of a heart attack; literally in a matter of a minute. I sent this book to her and she is very grateful. It is helping her tremendously. And it is providing me with a lot of support so that I can be supportive of her in this very rough time. The book is beautifully written. The author also includes personal short stories in the words of her friends, and that helps give you multiple perspectives on grief.

Review by Book Lover: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. A brilliant book! Reviewed in the United States on February 14, 2022. Verified Purchase. I have known Mary for many years and through those times we have helped each other in many ways. In reading this book she has helped me. I wished this book came out years ago when I needed help with grief. This book has a way of touching your very soul in times where one begins to wonder if you will ever find normalcy again. It’s written from not only the heart, but from a broken soul that desperately wants, needs repair. She leads the reader into a world of grief and it’s a personal journal that she takes you in as a way of expressing something that is so very hard to deal with because it’s numbing, and yet, through her words, words of friends who have gone through losing someone they love, you the reader can get a sense that there is light, there is hope in a time where you don’t sense any. It’s a book I highly recommend reading this even if you aren’t grieving, and if you have lost someone…this will help.

Review by Ken Farmer: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. BALM OF GILIAD. Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2023. Mary Deal’s talent as a writer again surfaces with her wonderfully penned, meaningful, memoir about losing a loved one. It is poignant, healing, and something that could only be written by someone who has made that journey. I highly recommend Grief is Love for anyone who has also been down that road…as we all will at one time or another. ‘Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.’- Matthew 5:4.

Review by JUDITH DRESEN: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. It is okay to grieve!!! Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2023. This is a beautifully written book. At some point in our life, we will all walk this road! Grief, a small word, but, oh so powerful. I highly recommend this book for all who are having a hard time understanding their feelings with the loss of a loved one.

Review by Maloa: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. Very helpful. Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2023. Another great read on surviving loss of loved ones. It’s very helpful and comforting to know others have similar thoughts and experiences. Sometimes you feel like you are all alone in your grief. No one else would understand what you are going through. Very helpful.

Review by Janet Ahlgren: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. Therapeutic and Beautiful. Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2022. I can tell that this book is sincerely written from the author’s heart. It made me smile, cry and at the end of it know that I will be ok. Thank you thank you for writing this!

Review by Martha A. Cheves-VINE VOICE: 5.0 out of 5 Stars. Read now to understand what is to come. Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2022. Verified Purchase. If we live long enough, we’ll all go through the loss of a loved one. Whether it be a parent, child, or possibly a spouse. The biggest problem we face when this time comes is how do we handle our feelings. If it’s sudden, I feel sure it hurts just as bad, but if it’s something that drags your loved one through a life of pain and misery, I feel sure it hurts even more. You watch your loved one slowly pass and you’re at a loss to do anything. At times you even start feeling sorry for yourself. Asking why God is putting me through this emotional pain. Sometimes it’s hard to think about the loved one more than you think about your own self.

I personally am going through much of the same thing that Author Mary Deal went through. My loved one’s health is failing and like her, I’m watching him go through stages that hurt me as much as it hurts him. After reading Grief is Love, I’ve started to realize that my feelings are normal and I must stress, even now, on the memories we’ve made together, both good and bad and hopefully make more before our time runs out.

For me, I find this book to be one that needs to be read by those who have lost a loved one, those who are watching their loved one decline, and even those who feel they have no need to prepare for a loss. Reading the Author’s memories, both through poetry as well as stories, this book will bring light to all lives as we go through life.


Product Details:
Paperback: ‎218 Pages
Publisher: ‎Independently Published (February 9, 2022)
Language: ‎English
Self Help: Grief & Bereavement
Women’s Biographies

Amazon Print:



About Mary Deal:  Mary Deal, a native of Walnut Grove in California’s Sacramento River Delta, now resides in Honolulu, Hawaii. She was Founder and past President of Kauai Writer’s Round table. She is also an artist, photographer and former editor of a print magazine and newspaper columnist.

She is the author of six suspense novels: “The Tropics,” an adventure/suspense trilogy, “The Ka,” a paranormal Egyptian suspense, “River Bones,” a thriller that takes place in her childhood hometown area, “Down to the Needle,” a thriller, taking place along the West coast, “Legacy of the Tropics,” a re-write and expansion of The Tropics, and “The Howling Cliffs, a Sara Mason Mystery” and 1st sequel to the award winning River Bones. She has also published “Off Center in the Attic,” a collection of over-the-top short stories and flash fiction pieces. The eBooks, “Write it Right – Tips for Authors, Vol. I and Vol. II are nonfiction references for writers. Write It Right – Tips for Authors – The Big Book (a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Book Awards) brings both of the Write It Write eBooks together in paperback.

“River Bones” was a winner in the Eric Hoffer Book Awards competition and a Finalist in the National Indie Excellence Books Awards. Her short story, “The Last This I Do” was nominated for the Pushcart Prize.

Awards and Special Recognition:

  • Author, Painter, Photographer
  • Amazon Best-Selling Author
  • Pushcart Prize Nominee
  • 2021 Global eBook Awards – Winner/Gold
  • 2021 International Book Awards – Finalist
  • 2021 Next Generation Indie Book Awards – Finalist
  • 2019 Next Generation Indie Book Awards – Winner
  • 2019 National Indie Excellence Book Awards Finalist
  • 2017 Global eBook Awards Bronze
  • 2016 International Book Awards Finalist
  • 2016 Global eBook Awards Silver
  • 2016 National Indie Excellence Book Awards Finalist
  • 2015 Global eBook Awards Bronze
  • 2014 National India Excellence Book Awards Finalist
  • 2011 National Indie Excellence Book Awards Finalist
  • 2009 Eric Hoffer Book Award Winner

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