Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized by Jay Dubya.
Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is a unique collection of twenty classic Mark Twain short stories and anecdotal sketches that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language.
When author Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, he often enjoyed teaching and reading Mark Twain’s “influential literature” to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school academic students. Remarkably, Samuel Langhorne Clemens (1835-1910) was both born and died the same years that Halley’s Comet had made its seventy-five-year revolution around the solar system.
Clemens acquired his pen name “Mark Twain” from Mississippi River steamboat terminology of “twain” being a water depth of two fathoms (twelve feet), the allowable safe level for a riverboat to navigate over a reef or shoal, and the depth was measured by a leadsman who threw a heavy lead weight overboard and then after lifting it out of the river, would mark the twain. Clemens became a successful riverboat pilot under the direction of a captain named Horace Bixby, but after the Civil War broke out, the Mississippi River was closed down to commercial traffic. Being unemployed, Sam Clemens journeyed out west to try his hand at gold prospecting in Nevada and then at newspaper journalism in California. The writer gained international recognition with the publication of his classic humorous short story “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County,” first published in 1865.
Mark Twain is generally regarded as a humorist but he is also understood by literary critics as being a serious philosopher and an astute analyzer of the antebellum and post-Civil War American society of his time. Twain’s most famous novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court. Other important Mark Twain works are the books: Roughing It, Life on the Mississippi and Innocents Abroad, and some short literary sketches from the last mentioned three books have been used in organizing this outrageous satire/parody.
Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized is author Jay Dubya’s thirty-sixth published book.
Short Stories (Adult Parodies)
Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized by Jay Dubya
Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized is a unique collection of eighteen classic Edgar Allan Poe short stories that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language, and the work is the thirty-fifth book of author Jay Dubya (John Weissner).
When Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, during his thirty-four-year classroom career, he often enjoyed teaching and reading the influential literature of Edgar Allen Poe to his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school students.
Even though Poe (1809-1849) had died at a very young age, he still managed, remarkably, to write and publish more than nine-hundred pages of imaginative short stories and awe-inspiring poems. In addition to being a superb writer, Poe was also an excellent editor and literary critic, and is widely regarded as one of the most important authors in American literature. The now-esteemed writer is often referred to as “the father of the American short story” and as “the inventor of the detective story.” Edgar married his thirteen-year-old cousin Virginia Clemm and made a very modest living as a writer and as a newspaper journalist. Poe had a nasty temper, took drugs as painkillers, and because of his mercurial disposition was unable to keep a job for any length of time. In 1847 Virginia died of tuberculosis and Poe, underfed, pale and gaunt-looking, passed away two years later. Poe’s detective stories “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” and “The Purloined Letter” made him famous in addition to his classic horror tales “The Pit and the Pendulum,” “The Masque of the Red Death,” “The Cask of Amontillado,” and the popular but eerie epic “The Tell-Tale Heart.”
Short Stories (Adult Parodies)
O. Henry: Obscenely and Outrageously Obliterated by Jay Dubya
O. Henry: Obscenely and Outrageously Obliterated is a collection of eighteen classic William Sidney Porter “surprise ending” short stories/novellas that have been imaginatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language.
This extremely humorous book is author’ Jay Dubya’s 34th published work. When the writer was a New Jersey public school English teacher for thirty-four years, he often enjoyed teaching and reading O. Henry’s “influential literature” with his sometimes-enlightened middle and high school students. Even though O. Henry (1862-1910) had died at a very young age, he still managed to remarkably write over five hundred short stories and anecdotal sketches.
W.S. Porter’s fiction often occurs in familiar U.S. environments and settings that he had known well during his short tenure on this planet, particularly New York City, Southern Texas, the mountains of Tennessee, Central America and the post-Civil War American South. Most interestingly, many of O. Henry’s terrific short stories were authored while he was in jail. In 1892 Porter moved to Texas and soon became a teller at an Austin bank where the institution’s officials accused him of illegally manipulating funds into his own account. Porter fled to Central America but upon returning to the states after his wife became very ill, the on-the-lam short story author was captured and then convicted.
Thus, one of O. Henry’s most famous stories “A Retrieved Reformation” involves safecracker Jimmy Valentine getting out of prison and in a geographical sense, the writer’s humorous stories “Shoes” and “Shoes and Ships” both take place in Coralio, an imaginary seacoast village in Central America. It is widely believed that the unique writing name “O. Henry” had been conceived in honor of a certain security guard named Orrin Henry, who had been employed at the federal penitentiary where the literary genius William Sidney Porter had been serving his bank felony sentence.
Short Stories (Adult Parodies)
London: Lashed, Lacerated, Lampooned and Lambasted by Jay Dubya
London: Lashed, Lacerated, Lampooned and Lambasted is a unique collection of eighteen classic Jack London short stories that have been creatively rewritten and satirized into adult parody form featuring adult content and language.
When author Jay Dubya was a New Jersey public school English teacher, he often enjoyed teaching and reading Jack London’s “influential literature” to his sometimes-enlightened academic students. Jack London (1876-1916) died at the early age of forty but the author left behind a rich collection of literature still read and admired today.
London was a master at the literary writing technique known as Realism where he skillfully describes struggles and life-or-death situations pitting man against man, man against hostile environments and often man against himself. Jack London was born in San Francisco and helped to support his family at age fourteen, dropping out of school to do so. Spending plenty of time in city libraries, London was a voracious reader who studied hard and eventually passed the entrance examination into the University of California. He stayed as a student for one semester but then went to work as a sailor and a laborer. During the Gold Rush of 1897 London spent a year in the Klondike and Yukon territories where he gathered material and information about interesting characters that later would appear in his novels and short stories.
Very fascinated by the Darwinian theory of “survival of the fittest,” many of Jack London’s works focused on the endurance of strong men driven by atavistic instincts and primitive emotions. The settings of most Jack London stories are in California, the Klondike/Yukon regions of Canada and the South Sea Pacific islands in and around Tahiti. London graphically described the great San Francisco Earthquake of April 18th, 1906 in his newspaper account “The Story of An Eyewitness,” and two other stories in this collection take place in California. Twelve of the eighteen satirized tales in this London: Lashed, Lacerated, Lampooned and Lambasted work occur in the Yukon/Klondike territories, and the remaining three stories are set in the South Pacific islands in and around Tahiti. London: Lashed, Lampooned, Lacerated and Lambasted is author Jay Dubya’s thirty-seventh published book.
Short Stories (Adult Parodies)
About The Author: Jay Dubya is author’ John Wiessner’s pen name. John is a retired New Jersey public school English teacher, having diligently taught the subject for thirty-four years. John lives in Hammonton, New Jersey with wife Joanne and the couple has three grown sons.
Counting London: Lashed, Lacerated, Lampooned and Lambasted, along with its companion books Twain: Tattered, Trounced, Tortured and Traumatized, Poe: Pelted, Pounded, Pummeled and Pulverized and O. Henry: Obscenely and Outrageously Obliterated, John has written and published thirty-seven total books. Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight, Part II, Pieces of Eight, Part III and Pieces of Eight, Part IV all contain short stories and novellas that feature science fiction and paranormal plots and themes. Nine New Novellas, Nine New Novellas, Part II, Nine New Novellas, Part III, Nine New Novellas, Part IV, One Baker’s Dozen, Two Baker’s Dozen, Snake Eyes and Boxcars and Snake Eyes and Boxcars, Part II are short story collections all written in the spirit of the Pieces of Eight series.
Other Jay Dubya adult-oriented fiction are the works Black Leather and Blue Denim, A ’50s Novel, and its exciting sequel, The Great Teen Fruit War, A 1960′ Novel. Frat Brats, A ’60s Novel completes the action/adventure trilogy. Jay Dubya also has produced two irreverent Biblical satires, The Wholly Book of Genesis and The Wholly Book of Exodus. A third satire Ron Coyote, Man of La Mangia is a parody on Miguel Cervantes’ classic novel, Don Quixote published in 1605. Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, TSTC, Part II, TSTC, Part III and TSTC, Part IV are satirical works that each corrupt thirteen classic stories from American and British literature and from Greek mythology. Fractured Frazzled Folk Fables and Fairy Farces and FFFF & FF, Part II satirize and corrupt famous children’s literature stories. Mauled Maimed Mangled Mutilated Mythology is an adult-oriented satirical/parody work that pokes fun at twenty-one famous classical myths. Finally, Shakespeare: Slammed, Smeared, Savaged and Slaughtered and Shakespeare: S, S, S and S. Part II lampoon the famous works of the great playwright.
The author has also penned a young adult fantasy trilogy: Pot of Gold, Enchanta and Space Bugs, Earth Invasion. The Eighteen Story Gingerbread House is a collection of eighteen new children’s stories. And last but not least, two Jay Dubya non-fiction works are So Ya’ Wanna’ Be A Teacher and Random Articles and Manuscripts.
Jay Dubya’s books are available in hardcover and paperback formats at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com and Booksamillion.com. Kindle versions are available at Amazon.com. Jay Dubya’s e-books are available at Amazon Kindle and at Barnes and Noble Nook.
Jay Dubya (John Wiessner), author of 56 books, gives a biography of his life.
Born in Hammonton, NJ in 1942, John had attended St. Joseph School up to and including Grade 5. After his family moved from Hammonton to Levittown, Pa in 1954, John attended St. Mark School in Bristol, Pa. for Grade 6, St. Michael the Archangel School for Grades 7 and 8 and Immaculate Conception School, Levittown, Pa. for grade 9. Bishop Egan High School, Levittown Pa was John’s educational base for Grades 10 and 11, and later in 1960 he graduated from Edgewood Regional High, Tansboro, NJ. John then next attended Glassboro State College, where he was an announcer for the school’s baseball games and also read the news and sports over WGLS, GSC’s radio station.
John had been primarily an English teacher in the Hammonton Public School System for 34 years, specializing in the instruction of middle school language arts. Mr. Wiessner was quite active in the Hammonton Education Association, serving in the capacities of Vice-President, building representative and finally, teachers’ head negotiator for 7 years. During his lengthy teaching career, John had been nominated into “Who’s Who Among American Teachers” three times. He also was quite active giving professional workshops at schools around South Jersey on the subjects of creative writing and the use of movie videos to motivate students to organize their classroom theme compositions.
John Wiessner was very active in community service, being a past President of the Hammonton Lions Club, where he also functioned for many years as the club’s Tail-Twister, Vice-President and Liontamer. He had been named Hammonton Lion of the Year in 1979 and in 2009 received the prestigious Melvin Jones Fellow Award, the highest honor a Lion can receive from Lions International.
John also was a successful businessman, starting with being a Philadelphia Bulletin newspaper delivery boy for two years in the late 1950s in Levittown, Pennsylvania. After his family moved back to New Jersey in 1959, John worked at his grandparents and his parents’ farm markets, Square Deal Farm (now Ron’s Gardens in Hammonton) and Pete’s Farm Market in Elm, respectively. He later managed his wife’s parents’ farm market, White Horse Farms (Elm) for three summers.
Also, in a business capacity, for 16 summers starting in 1967 John Wiessner had co-owned Dealers Choice Amusement Arcade on the Ocean City, Maryland boardwalk and also co-owned the New Horizon Tee-Shirt Store for eight summers (1973-’81) on the Rehoboth Beach, Delaware boardwalk. In addition, he was a co-owner of Wheel and Deal Amusement Arcade, Missouri Avenue and Boardwalk, Atlantic City. And then, for 18 summers beginning in 1986, John had been the Field Manager in charge of crew-leaders for Atlantic Blueberry Company (the world’s largest cultivated blueberry company), both the Weymouth and Mays Landing Divisions.
After retiring from teaching in 1999, writing under the pen name Jay Dubya (his initials), John Wiessner became an author of 56 books in the genre Action/Adventure Novels, Sci-Fi/Paranormal Story Collections, Adult Satire, Young Adult Fantasy Novels and Non-Fiction Books. His books exist in hardcover, in paperback and in popular Kindle and Nook e-book formats.
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