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Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis by Alberta H. Sequeira
Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round is a heartfelt memoir of a woman’s life living with and losing a husband to alcoholism. Slowly their happy life as a secure family with their two daughters started to fall into tiny pieces.
Family members ride on the merry-go-round of hardships and struggles only to watch their loved one die from this demon. Readers who are living in the same dark hole, will relate to the constant confusion, broken promises, and abusive behavior with no winners. Hopefully, they will come to learn that alcoholism is not a weakness, it’s an illness. We are far from being alone with this battle.
This story describes the heartache caused by alcoholism on the whole family. It’s a painful journey filled with honesty, hurt, confusion and the fear of losing someone from alcohol abuse. It reveals the sadness and despair alcoholism places on those who love an alcoholic and the consequences that follow.
Paperback: 384 Pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; 2nd edition (July 8, 2015)
Global Library: Self-Help (Alcoholism Recovery)
Global Library: Self-Help (Sexual Abuse)
Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism by Alberta H. Sequeira
Please, God, Not Two is the sequel to Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round. It follows the silent suffering after a woman married loses her husband, Richard Lopes of North Dighton, Massachusetts, in 1985 at forty-five years of age from his alcohol abuse.
She had ignored the same familiar signs with her daughter, Lori Cahill. It wasn’t until the last two years of her life that family became aware of her addiction and becoming bulimic.
After three rehab stays, Lori loses her battle on November 22, 2006 at thirty-nine. She had been put to rest alongside her father at the St. Patrick Cemetery in Somerset, MA.
Readers living in the same confused life with enabling, fear, physical abuse and denial, will relate to this true story. This is a worldwide problem that has been killing millions of people leaving broken-hearted families behind.
The author’s talks given publicly and behind closed doors to the alcoholics and drug addicts are in this memoir without holding back the reality of this disease with no one coming out a winner.
From The Inside Flap Introduction: Please, God, Not Two: This Killer Called Alcoholism is the sequel to Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round: An Alcoholic Family in Crisis. The first memoir goes behind closed doors into my private life and personal hardships of living with an alcoholic husband. I wanted the readers to share in the reality of our fears and frustration in trying to deal with his drinking. The birth of our two daughters, Debbie and Lori, were followed by confusion, broken promises, abuse, our divorce, and his death.
This sequel is the continuation of our lives after my husband, Richie, died and our subsequent realization that our daughter, Lori, had been taking the same path as her father with alcohol abuse. The family wasn’t aware that she had become addicted to alcohol until her last two years of fighting this disease.
Our families wanted to unite and hopefully reach not only the drug and alcohol abusers, but also the parents, children, siblings, and friends who are trying to understand the disease of substance abuse.
We are far from being alone in this fight, but we know that family members need to come together to learn how to help the abusers overcome their addiction by showing support and love. It’s so important for the abusers to know that it’s not them we hate, but the disease itself. That alone, will help a great deal in their recovery.
When we lose a loved one, our lives are overwhelmed by all the questions: if I had done something different, could I have, should I have, and what might have been if I had. If there was a possibility of my going back and making changes, would they have saved Richie and Lori? I’ll never know, but some changes in my actions might have helped me live with less guilt about how I handled certain circumstances.
I’m not a professional counselor or trained speaker; my writing and talks come from the heart of a wife and mother who has lost two people I loved to alcoholism.
Please, God, Not Two is based on my years of loving and raising Lori, only to lose her to alcoholism. Slowly, our happy lives as a secure family started to fall to pieces at different stages. It was completely incomprehensible to me that I ignored the signs of Lori’s serious drinking problems after seeing her father die from this uncontrollable demon.
I wanted to talk about the powerful and emotional feelings of my physical and mental pain, being blind to the signs of Lori’s drinking, even after being knowledgeable about the illness when trying to cope with Richie’s addiction. This book was written for families who are living in this same dark hole and who need to come out of hiding and seek help without fear or embarrassment
We can’t force our loved ones to get help. All our begging, crying, and pleading won’t always work. They have to want it themselves; we can only try to support them.
Writing this book has made me see that there were missed opportunities that could have turned Lori’s life around and helped her to let go of the demons that kept her from being able to move toward recovery. I’m ashamed to say that there were many.
If our family’s experience can help others recognize the warning signs of alcohol abuse and save one abuser, then this story will have been worth telling. Every family member and close friend of the alcoholic suffers along with them. As sick as we become from this disease ourselves, we have to keep focused on the possibility of losing the abuser. Because of the high percentage rate of deaths from alcoholism, we need to keep fighting for our loved ones, no matter how hard the task, to help them take the steps to recovery.
There’s no reason to remain silent about this illness. There are many diseases that kill, and this is one of them. Families need to open up about substance abuse and seek counseling. This fight can’t be fought alone; the dependency is too powerful. Once the disorder seizes a person, the demon holds them with more strength than we can imagine. Alcoholism is something abusers have to fight the rest of their lives; there is no cure. We should try to help them attain the desire to go into rehabilitation and recovery, and more importantly, with our love and support, the willpower to stay sober. We are far from being alone in this battle; it’s a worldwide problem. –This text refers to an alternate kindle edition.
Paperback: 404 Pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform; 2nd edition (August 4, 2015)
Global Library: Self-Help (Alcoholism Recovery)
Global Library: Self-Help (Sexual Abuse)
Message From Alberta H. Sequeira: Hello everyone.I wrote two serious books on Alcohol and drug Abuse. My reason was from losing a husband and grown daughter to theirs. I wanted to show how I had no knowledge of their habit and wanted to share what I should have done better.
With Someone Stop This Merry-Go-Round you will learn:
1. How enabling only brings the substance abuser deeper into their addiction.
2. How fights only make a distance between you both. Listening is more loving and takes down the walls.
3. The silent treatment only pushes the problem in the background.
4. Don’t make threats you can’t keep.
5. allowing the action to go on too long, starts the blackout.
6. How to leave safely without putting your life in danger
Book Two: Please, God, Not Two
1. When your child starts hanging out with new friends
2. Skipping school
3. Not realizing this I can be a family disease
4. Getting them help before the age of 18 years old or they will be able to refuse help
5. Stop keeping the blinders on thinking it’s a FAZE.
6. Don’t believe in “They have to reach rock bottom: Richie and Lori’s was their death
7. Get them help if they go hating you. At least they will be alive
Both books show my action and what I should have done. The sequel Please, God, Not Two, gives my talks behind closed doors to the substance abusers.
I have the conclusion, a Narrative Nonfiction, to both books The Mindset of an Alcoholic and Addict: 34 Americans and Canadians Share Their Struggle with Alcohol and Drugs, with an agent. Hopefully, a publisher will believe in this book as writing and stories that will help many: doctors, counselors, family members, the substance abuser, and the public to understand what we all need to do to get the addict into recovery.
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